Essay in HuffPo Personal

I’m thrilled that my essay about how my feelings on marriage completely changed after a devastating breakup found a home at HuffPo Personal, where it was even featured on the front page! Even more rewarding has been the reaction—especially from men. I never expected to get so many supportive messages from them given the angle. Perhaps men also feel constrained by marriage and its gender expectations in ways we might not expect. Or perhaps it’s simply that the concept of self-growth is universal.

Read it here: My Boyfriend of 3 Years Suddenly Ghosted Me. Here’s Why I’m Grateful It Happened.

Many people have also applauded me for being brave, but for me, the scary part wasn’t writing about and sharing the experience, but actually going through it. It’s still scary—remaining single (not to mention the financial implications of running my own business without the security of another income) is after all the harder path. I do think it is the most rewarding, but I don’t want to minimize the challenges.

However, when I think about who I would be if I had married or even moved in with that boyfriend, I know it was all for the best. There’s no doubt in my mind the end result would have been the same, but how much more drawn out, complicated, and painful it would have been!

I don’t know that I’m “grateful” to my ex, as that dating coach suggested I would be, but I am grateful for how things turned out.